Getting back on track

One of the things that kept me from leaving the abusive situation sooner was fear of finances. I had to try and cut corners however possible. I also had to swallow my pride and apply for public assistance. Someone dear to me told me that I had been paying into the system for years and this is what the system was meant for.

Living in rural areas I also have Amazon Prime. Amazon offers a discount to those who are on government assistance. Taking advantage of this discount will also offer you movies and music.

Another way I have saved and earned a little bit back is through Ibotta. This app can be used online and in-store. In some stores you just link your frequent shopping cards and your rebates/ coupons are linked straight to your Ibotta account, nothing more. Other stores you will need to take a picture of your receipt.

Another online rebate site is Rakuten. The hardest part of this site, for me, is remembering to log in when I’m shopping online. You receive a small percentage of your online purchase when you shop through the site.

If you have not downloaded the Honey app and added it to your browser, you don’t know what you’re missing. Honey searches multiple sites/stores for the best price and any coupon codes available. Using Honey has saved me money more times than I can remember.

During these crazy times we all need to save money however possible. I want to help others who are in the same place I found myself several years ago and again today, because of the cost of living.

HOPE – My Word for 2022

“I hope everything goes well with your appointment!” I said this to a lady at church who had a doctor’s appointment that week. When everyone had left the church my ex (also pastor) yelled at me and scolded me for using the word “hope”. That was 22 years ago, and it still haunts me. I decided to make it my word for the year. I have struggled to use the word hope ever since that happened, even though it is used many times in the Bible.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 NLT https://my.bible.com/bible/116/JER.29.11.NLT

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 NLT https://my.bible.com/bible/116/ROM.15.13.NLT

Symptoms of trauma

If you have ever been in an abusive relationship you probably can relate to some or all of these symptoms.

Sometimes just seeing and knowing that someone else has been there helps me to realize that I’m not crazy. Trusting again is so difficult. When trusting is difficult, we don’t trust praise and accolades, we don’t even trust ourselves.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with issues that ALL of these symptoms are stumbling blocks for getting past them.

Sand on the Seashore

TruthNotes

Last week we went to the beach for a couple days. The kids had a wonderful time splashing in the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico, jumping into the waves, finding seashells, and of course, playing in the sand. They dug holes, made sandcastles, and even had “sandball” fights. They had a blast. But afterward, the sand was everywhere. Despite my best efforts to rinse our bathing suits, shake out our towels, and beat the sand out of the floor mats of the van, we still managed to escape with a fair amount of sand. It was as if a fine layer of sand had settled over everything. When I washed our towels and bathing suits at home, there was so much sand on the bottom of the washing machine afterward that it took two damp paper towels to collect it all. It’s still all over the floor of…

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Finding courage for the hard times…

For almost 18 years I was in an abusive marriage. Amy hits the nail on the head why so many stay.

Life Inspired Thoughts

My devotion this morning really spoke to me as a survivor of abuse and having to find the courage to make tough decisions.

I knew in my heart for years that things were not right in my first marriage. It wasn’t about not liking something my ex-spouse did like those little daily irritants which can rub us wrong — you know the ones — like leaving the cap off the toothpaste, the toilet seat up, and socks on the floor. I knew deep down how he treated me, and our two sons, was wrong. I never felt courageous enough though to take a stand and therefore, continued to stay in a marriage which was destructive to both myself and my boys.

And sadly, many well-meaning Christians would give me wrongful advice such as saying I needed to just stay and suffer through for this was my lot in life and…

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Longing to Love

The cry of my heart is to love you more…To live by the touch of your hand…Stronger each day…Show me your ways…

I wasn’t raised in a home that showed emotions much less love.  Hugs were obsolete.  Still to this day it is hard for me to hug.  I am getting better every day, as I show my own children I love them.  I know things could have been worse and we each deal with what we are given.  I am thankful that I was involved in church.  Thru church I came to know true love.  I always sought after love and approval from those around me, especially since I didn’t seem to get it from home.  Thankfully I did have a good Christian foundation and an incredible Father in Heaven watching over me.

I’ve been reading The Love Dare, and today this line really stuck out to me, “Love toward God leads us to obey Him and uphold His rightful place of honor in our lives…Love towards others transforms what is evil.”   I don’t know about you but my life has been bombarded by evil – from inside and outside.

^{Romans 13:8-10}

⁸ Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. ⁹ For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” ¹⁰ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

Those few verses have me in deep thought…..

Life begins

We do not have a choice where or to whom we are born, but we do know God did :

Psalm 139:13 – 16

3  For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14  I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.t
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15  My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16  Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.

He knew what type of family we would become a part of at that very moment we entered the world.  Sometimes I question why He chose the path he chose for me but I will continue to run the race he has set before me with each mountain and valley I go through.  I pray I will always be His willing servant.